Update On My Life!

Well...if I haven't been around...which I haven't, I have very good reason for it! Pretty much last minute in the summer, while I was working at a horrible job (not going to mention where) but it was in a kitchen and it just didn't fly with me. Anyway, I got accepted to work at Camp Arnes as a gals counselor! Yay! It was the most amazing month of my life!....The last week in July and all four weeks in August, I was living out at camp in a cabin with my kids (new groups every week) it was great. Such a spiritual high and learning lots about myself, God, and the kids I was spending time with.

When camp was drawing to close, God set me up with an opportunity to live out at camp and work full time in the kitchen year-round. I accepted the offer and here I am! Beginning of October and I've been working in the kitchen for almost a month and living with absolutely amazing girls! I love it. Praise God!

Best Blogger Ever!

Oh my goodness, aren't I just the best blogger ever? I only blogged once in June and that was it, now its mid July. I have an excuse though! I am a super busy person lately, I never get a chance to go on the computer and I'm always so tired when I finally get a chance to be home for longer than 5 minutes. So I guess I'll blog updates on everything since I have a moment...

My dad is doing really well! His surgery went amazingly, thanks to everyone who was praying for him and us, they removed his right kidney and got everything so they aren't worried at all that he should have any problems, which is fantastic. He was out of the hospital in 4 days and is getting stronger and feeling less pain everyday. He migh even start slowly going back to work next month. Praise God for His awesome work and love!

I'm working fulltime as a cook and I find it very stressful and tiring at times because things are really disorganized and busy all the time so it's a little hectic and I find myself being very unhappy at times, so I pray for contiuned strength and patience.

I'm going to Camp Arnes to be a Cabin Leader (counselor) for all of August! I am very excited for it and I just pray that God will be with me and guide me through it, as I have never done anything like this before, but I really want to serve God by sharing my summer with these kids and showing them God's amazing love.

I don't know what else to say at the moment, but it has been really good to finally post again. Take care all!

Until next time, God Bless.

Please Pray

Wow! I haven't posted in a long time...I've been really busy lately with having school everyday and working every day afterwards and then fitting in my family and friends in my very little free time, so I haven't even been on the computer much lately.

Anyways, I have an update for all of you out there that read my blog...

Like I posted in my last post, my dad was supposed to have surgery to remove his one kidney that had a cancer in it on June 21st, but they moved the surgery up to tomorrow now. Short notice, I know, but I just ask that if you do read this, that you please keep him in mind in your prayers. I will try to post as soon as I can to let you know how it went.

Thanks all who read, and I'll post again soon. Until next time, God Bless.

Baptized!

"Peter replied, "Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit." (Acts 2:38)

I got baptized today! It was amazing, such a great feeling to know that I have declared my love and faithfulness to the Lord and that I am a new person, starting a new chapter in my life. The love and support from my friends and family has been great and I'm so encouraged to just get my life organized and all fixed up and start living my life in a way that I know will honour God.

Today was just a great day and I wish I could have spent more of it in celebration with my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, but stuff came up and it didn't work out. But that's alright because I think we're going to plan a baptism party...haha that would be fun!

I don't really have much to say about other things....an update on my dad is that he finally got a surgery date (June 21st) so that the doctors can go in there and remove his kidney that has the cancer in it. He is doing well considering everything, I just hope and pray that the surgery goes well, that they get out everything they have to get, and that he recovers quickly and smoothly. I know God will be there and be with us.

Thanks for reading, until next time, God Bless.

My Testimony

May 13, 2007
My Testimony

As I think back on the beginning of my spiritual life, I find it a little difficult to say exactly where is first begun. It could have began when my parents had me baptized into the Roman Catholic faith when I was just a baby, but although my parents intentions were good, I have trouble accepting that being baptized out of someone else’s’ choice for you, is right.

I didn’t really grow up in a religious home, even though I was baptized, so my spiritual life kind of developed in spurts and there was always one main character in my life that brought me there. As I look back on it now, it kind of seems as though God was placing these individuals in my life to lead me to Him.

But things would change and the friendships ended, but I never stopped believing in God. But because my friend, who brought me to church, was out of my life, I’d stop going to church too.

Throughout these spurts of my growing Christian life, I’d have to say that the first time I really saw and understood God, was when I went on a kind of Mission trip with my youth group when I was in grade 6 or 7 to Calgary. I did lots of volunteer work and helping others. I also saw some things that maybe I wasn’t ready to see, like poverty, people working the streets, others using the public payphones to call their drug dealers, and a beat up couch behind a building with broken needles lying around it.

Now, please don’t be frightened or concerned, when I saw these things, I was with a big group of people and the people who knew and patrolled that specific downtown area were guiding us and they didn’t bring us close to anything that would have put someone in danger. But it was at this time that I really prayed and prayed and I was so thankful for the life God had given me but at the same time, I cried for those people who didn’t know God and who lived the way I saw in downtown Calgary that night.

My next big experience in my faith was when another friend of mine invited me to his small, but growing Youth group. I was in grade 8 at the time and I found that this was a place where I discovered and accepted one of the gifts God had given me. It was the gift of singing and praising Him. I became the lead singer of my youth band and I sang every youth night and I had really felt like it fit perfectly.

Unfortunately, once again, stuff happened and I turned away from the church and my friendships with the people I went to youth with, ended.

It was 4 years after that when God placed a new person in my life to bring me back to Him. That’s how I ended up here, at Morrow Gospel, because of that friend whom I’m so thankful for. And finally once again, it feels right.

I started to keep a prayer journal soon after I started coming here and there is an entry in it I’d like to share, it shows that I have truly accepted God into my life and I needed to put it in writing so that I could look back on it whenever I needed to. The entry is this;

“Jesus said, ‘In the same way God’s angels are happy when even one person turns to him’ Luke 5:10
Dear Lord,
Tonight my friend asked me if I had made it official and asked You into my heart and life for good and I couldn’t really recall actually putting it into words, like I know that You are in my heart and life Lord, but I think that just for my sake, I’d like to put this prayer down so that I know that I have asked You into my heart and life officially and for good, so here it goes…My Lord, Jesus Christ, You are my saviour and my God and I know that You died to save me from my sins so that I could be free to live in Your way and have eternal life. I pray to You and ask You to please forgive all of my sins and forget my foolish thoughts and choices I have made in the past. Cleanse me of my old self and allow me to grow into a new pure person for You, God. Please come into my heart and life completely and be with me always. I’m reaching out to You, Lord. Please take my hand. I’m turning to You and I want to make You proud. I love You. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen”

There are many passages in the bible that I love and speak to me, but the one I chose to share today is; “You will turn back to me and ask for help, and I will answer all your prayers. You will worship me with your whole heart and I’ll be with you…” Jeremiah 29:12-13.

Thank you all for listening and thank you even more for your kindness and making me feel welcome here. God bless.

Testimony Time!

Ok, so I have just finished writing my testimony that I am sharing in church tomorrow, I'd love to post it on here, but I figure that it would be better to do that after I've read it in church so that no one gets any sneak peaks, haha.

But I will post it here afterwards, I promise.

I didn't find it hard to write, because I had been thinking about it for a while, but I am worried that it is a little long and maybe confusing abit? I hope it goes over alright.

Please pray for me!

Until next time, God Bless.

Guidance Is Needed

As I posted in my last blog, I have just about finished filling out all my forms for camp...when something comes up that makes me second guess going. And before any of you get upset, or concerned, or anything like that, I need you to know that, although the reasoning behind my choice will be hard to accept, I feel like it needs to be done.

I apologize for being so vague, but I know that the person it concerns, probably wouldn't appreciate me talking about him on my blog in a way that may make others....possibly, not so happy with him. But I beg of you, if it ever comes known about who or why I have chosen to second guess going to Beaver Creek, don't blame him for my decision.

Instead now, I guess I'm going to try to look for something else to do over the summer that would help me to grow in my spiritual life, so if anyone has any suggestions, I'd love to hear them. As I was thinking about all of this I found this verse in the bible, and I'd just like to share it;

"Since you are my rock and my fortress, for the sake of your name lead and guide me." (Psalm 31:3)

I also had a pretty stressful day, today. I felt like, I'm juggling too much and I don't have enough, time, energy, or the physical capability to please everyone. As much as I want to be able to be there for everyone, and help anyone out who needs it, I just can't and I couldn't help but feel upset about that today.

I really do need God as my rock and fortress right now. I need Him for guidance to lead me to a summer in which I can honor him, and guide me down a path that may lead to less stress and worry. My friends, I humbly ask, please pray for me. Thank you.

Until next time, God Bless.

Random Updates

So Chad gave me an application form to fill out in order to work at Beaver Creek Bible Camp this summer. I was really excited about it because I thought that I had finally found a way that I could spend the summer growing in my relationship with God and doing something not only to benefit my spiritual life but also the lives of others. I've started filling it out and I all I really need left are my references, my police check, and 3 people willing to pray for me everyday while I'm there.

I was also going to put that I'm available for the whole 5 weeks of camp, but something new has come up. A very good job opportunity in which I could be making some very nice money and also getting prepared for apprenticeship and working my way to my career that I've been working hard for. It's a very good opportunity, and not something to just pass up, so I'm going to have to re-think my camp availability.

I'm eager for school to be done, the weather is getting nicer and I long to be outside in God's beautiful nature. The youth from church is going to the park this Friday, I'm very excited for that, it's always good times when I hang out with my friends from youth. I'm so blessed to have been accepted and welcomed into their group, and many of them have given me so much encouragement.

I give my Baptism Testimony next Sunday (not this coming Sunday, next Sunday: the 13th) I've been thinking lots about since I first started going to the Christian Life Classes, so I pray that it all comes together nicely once I decide to sit down and write it.

A friend of mine is kind of going through a tough time right now. His grandpa is really sick, and possibly going to be returning home to the Lord soon, so he is feeling quite down and not his usual self, so I ask for prayer for my friend and his family as they go through this tough time.

"O LORD, be gracious to us; we long for you. Be our strength every morning, our salvation in time of distress." (Isaiah 33:2)

Forgive me for all the random updates, but I've been neglecting my blog lately so here it all is. Thank you to my readers and my friends for prayer, support, and encouragement.

Until next time, God Bless.

Long Time No Blog!

Wow...things have really been poopie regarding my blog...haha. Well, I don't think much has really happened lately and I just haven't had anything to really blog about. Actually, I've been neglecting a lot lately.

I'm taking Christian Life Classes at church every Sunday. It's to learn more about the Christian faith and to prepare for baptism which is coming up at the end of May. I really think that I'm going to take that step in my faith and get baptised, I've been thinking about my testimony lately too, it kind of scares me to put all those thoughts and feelings together in words about my walk with God and how it's been and how it came to be and all that. I kind of feel like, who's really going to want to listen to that? Who cares about my story and what I've done? I'm kind of shy about sharing it with the church.

I also feel like I need to do something that would help me to grow better in my relationship with God, but I don't know what. I feel like God is calling me to do something new and exciting and something I would really enjoy but at the same time grow and develop my relationship with God. I've been looking around a different mission work pamphlets, but I don't think I'm ready for those yet, and doing camp counselling has crossed my mind a lot but I don't know how to get into that.

I'd like to ask my friends out there who read this for prayer in hopes that my questions will be answered, and that I will find what God is calling me to do this coming summer. I want to spend it honouring God and growing in Him. Thanks for reading, and I apologize for the long wait on an update.

Until next time, God Bless.

Under The Weather

I haven't been feeling very motivated to do much the past couple of days, but I haven't been feeling all the great health wise either. At the beginning of Spring Break I developed a cold, just like any other cold so I wasn't too concerned about it and it pretty much went away, but the past few days I've been feeling ill again but in a different way. I feel tired, my stomach feels upset but I haven't been physically sick, I have trouble sleeping, I lie in bed feeling really warm but yet I shiver from the inside-out, and usually a headache comes into play somewhere. Overall, I'm feeling pretty poopie.

I was also really grumpy today, most likely because of lack of sleep and not feeling all that great and spring break was over and it was back to school today and I just didn't have the patience or want to be there and it just seemed like everything was falling out of place and not going right. I prayed for patience and strength to get through the day without being too negative, I don't like to be seen as a grumpy, mean, or negative person and I really wanted my mood to lift so I asked God to be my rock throughout the day.

I was supposed to meet up with two of my girl friends from high school for our monthly dinner date type thing we do, but because of feeling under the weather, I had to cancel and felt pretty bad about because we always have so much fun together and I don't get to see them very often, but of course being the good friends they are, they understood and we're going to try and reschedule for the next week or so.

I basically just spent the night resting, I actually had a nap from like 4:30pm until 8:15pm, it was really nice and very much needed, I just hope I can still get to sleep at a decent hour tonight now.

I pray that whatever illness is in my system and bothering me right now, that God will lift it and help get me back feeling normal and healthy and ready to face anything. I praise God, that even though I'm not feeling 100%, that I am blessed with the chance to rest and take it easy and have almost 4 hour naps in the comfort of my bed.

I have a couple of other topics in mind that I would like to blog about, but this is already quite lengthy and they are completely different topics, so hopefully I'll be able to keep them in mind and be motivated to post again tomorrow.

Thanks for reading and until next time, God Bless.

Praise God For Spring!

Well it surely is Spring outside now, Praise God! I am a Winnipegger and I always have been, but there is just something about the freezing cold, that I could never miss.

And with spring, comes spring break for myself and many of my friends. Not much has really changed for me concerning my daily schedule, the only thing that is really different is that instead of waking up early for school, I'm sleeping in. It's a very nice thing though, the rest and relaxation was very needed.

I've been trying to spend a lot of my time with my friends, but kind of dividing it up nicely so that I fit many different friends into my social events. I feel pretty good about being able to manage my time so that I can see my friends and spend time with them. I thank God for all my friends, they each bring such a gift and blessing to my life.

I've become "obsessed" with a song by Chris Tomlin recently, "Indescribable" I listen to it constantly and I've replaced my former song on my Myspace with it. I little piece of it kind of flows into this blog about spring...it goes like this:

"From the highest of heights to the depths of the sea

Creation's revealing Your majesty

From the colors of fall to the fragrance of spring

Every creature unique in the song that it sings

All exclaiming

Indescribable, uncontainable,

You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.

You are amazing God

All powerful, untameable,

Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim

You are amazing God "

When I was first listening to the song and reading the lyrics along with it, I noticed how it mentioned "the fragrance of spring" and I just loved that, because I know that every year when the seasons change, I notice the change in the scent of the air, it's just breathtaking.

What an amazing God we have, to give us these wonderful gifts of beauty and nature. It just leaves me in wonderment and adoration.

Until next time, God Bless.

Saturated In A Flame

Praise God! He is an awesome God full of love, mercy, grace, etc. I am so not worthy of His love for me but I accept it and I appreciate it and take it completely in with my whole heart.

I was going to blog last night after I got home from Saturate, but I was so tired and I had a feeling that I should maybe sleep on it and wait.

Saturate was amazing. There was a fire lit in my heart that I had not felt in a long time, if at all. I pretty much went through every emotion I could have. I was excited and pumped at first, and then I got emotional and upset and I cried, and then I was so pumped and so happy that I sang so loud and jumped up and down and smiled and laughed and held my hands in the air and just worshiped our wonderful God.

That's how I want to live. That's how passionate I want to be about God everyday of my life. I want to feel that fire burning through me everyday and I pray that others had the same amazing time that I did and that more and more people will experience something like that and give themselves to God and realized just how wonderful it is to be a child of His.

"I will give thanks to the LORD because of his righteousness and will sing praise to the name of the LORD Most High." (Psalm 7:17)

Thank you to my dear friends who gave me the opportunity to experience such a night. I can't wait to do that again. Light The Fire!

Until next time, God Bless.

Prayer List

"I call on you, O God, for you will answer me; give ear to me and hear my prayer." (Psalm 17:6)

Dear Friends,

I have started a prayer list in my journal, it was out of inspiration from my friend Jamieson, I think it's an awesome thing to do, and I know it's going to help me remember all those important people and things to pray for when I do my daily devotional and prayer before bed.

So, I ask you, if you have anything you would like me to pray for, I will definitely add it to my list and pray for it every night. The Lord hears our prayers, and when a group is praying for the same things, I think He hears it even more. So please let me know.

We all have things that we need prayer for, and it's so heart warming and encouraging to know that others are praying for you.

A friend from church came to me on Friday and pulled me away from the group and asked me to pray for her and her friend. As sad and concern as I was, it kind of made me smile inside that she would feel comfortable enough with me, in order to talk to me about something important and ask me to pray aloud for her while holding hands. It was really intense, she even started crying a bit while I was talking to God.

I'm not going to go in detail of course about what my friend needed prayer for, but I'm going to put it out there and ask you all who read this, to put her and her friend in your prayers, God will know what it is for. Thank you.

Until next time, God Bless.

Unfailing Love

I thought I would update all of you on my dad since we kind of got an update ourselves. My dad went to the doctors yesterday (Thursday) to get some results on a test he had but they ended up telling him nothing because the test came back "inconclusive" or something like that.

So now, they say that instead of doing another test that could probably give them no answers again, they are going to get him to have an MRI and then schedule the surgery to take out his kidney. My dad said that while he is asleep on the operation table, they are going to take out the infected kidney and run tests on it to see what kind of cancer is on the kidney because depending on what kind of cancer it is, depends on how much they have to remove from his body, like just the kidney, or the tube that leads to the bladder, and also a little piece of the bladder where it could have affected.

Basically, that's all the new information we got, so he'll probably be going for his MRI in the next week or so, I'm assuming, and then we just have to wait for the surgery to be scheduled.

"May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD, even as we put our hope in you." (Psalm 33:22)

My hope and my faith is still very strong, God's unfailing love has given me such strength during this difficult time, but things aren't that scary to me considering all that is going on. I know that everything will be ok as long as I just keep praying and hoping for the best. Thank you to all of you for your thoughts and prayers, they mean so much to me.

Until next time, God Bless.

Prayers and Blessings

Ok, so yesterday I was on MSN, which is nothing new of course because I find myself on there everyday, and I was talking to my friend Jamieson. He is such a blessing to me, I really wished we spent more time together because he is just so awesome and every time I talk to him, I learn something new and amazing about God.

He told me two very awesome things yesterday and the first was that he was feeling not so good about his prayer time and stuff like that and that he felt he needed to work on his praying so he has decided to make a prayer list and use that to develop his praying, I guess. He was even kind enough to ask me if there was anything I'd like him to prayer for and I just felt so touched by that.

Since he told me that, I've decided that it would be a great thing for me to do as well, so when I read my bible last night and wrote in my prayer journal, I kind of wrote an introduction for my prayer list that I'm going to make and start getting together.

Jamieson also told me that this Sunday he is getting baptised. I'm so happy for him! I think I might even go because it is on Sunday evening and I don't think I'm doing anything then, I really hope that I don't work because I'd love to go and be there and watch.

Praise God! The Lord of wonder, amazement, and love. I'm so truly blessed to have the friends that I have, I'll be praying for all of them.

Until next time, God Bless.

His Princess

I was looking around on the internet and kind of stumbled upon this, and I really liked it. What an honour it is, to be His Princess.

Dear Little Daughter,

This is your Heavenly Father, God, I just wanted to tell you how much you mean to me today. I bless you my beautiful daughter. I want you to know you are beautiful, I made you, I mentioned your name at your birth. You were in my thoughts before the beginning of time. I formed you in your mother's womb. I chose the color of your hair, your eyes, your smile, your voice, your body shape, the way you think, the way you walk. I gave you your personality, your skills, your gifts, your passions, your ability to love and be loved.

I am your Father. I love you with an everlasting love. I love you - you are mine! I am jealous for you and your heart. Guard your heart! My eyes never leave you. I carry you in my heart. I cover you under the shadow of my wings, so you can be covered, feel safe and secure. I am your tower of strength, run to me, let me be your refuge. I am your comforter. Run to my heart. I am the lover of your soul. Rest in my love. Let me love you. I smile when I watch you laugh. I know every tear you've ever cried. I've engraved you in the palm of my hands. I adore you, my daughter.

I send angels to watch over you and minister to you. You are my princess. I crown you with loving kindness and life. I ALWAYS have time for you. I will never, ever, no never leave you or let you down, NEVER!

When you feel alone, sad, angry, depressed, or empty inside, I'm right beside you, loving you and gently holding you. You are my beloved treasure, my creation, my delight and the fragrance of my heart. Come to me. Let me love you. I love you my beautiful child.

Your Heavenly Father,
GOD

I just thought it was something nice to share...Until next time, God Bless.

Divine Nature

Ok, so I was looking for a verse to blog about or to find one that would go with how I was feeling, so I read "the verse of the day" on BibleGateway.com and it just totally worked! Yesterday it was so gorgeous outside and I just really felt like I needed to go for a walk and be with God. So I went to St. Vital Park, and just walked around with the beautiful nature and the lovely smell of fresh air and trees, it was wonderful.

So I stumbled upon this verse;

"Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires." (2 Peter 1:4)

The verse might not exactly show how I felt with the need to be outside and walking in nature, but when I read it, I just picture everything being so crazy and constant in my life, and then when I was walking through the park, with the sun setting over the frozen river, I just felt so peaceful and relaxed.

Praise God for His wonderful gifts of beauty and nature for us to enjoy.

Until next time, God Bless.

Going, Going, Going...

Goodness me. It seems lately as if I just haven't stopped going. I mean, of course it's been my own choice, if I really wanted to you I could have not gone out and saw people or hungout at all and just sat home doing nothing, but I've just been so social lately, that I can't just sit at home and do nothing.

I do feel as though I have been lacking in my prayers though and I'm not too happy about that. I guess it's just because I'm going, going, going all day that I just don't make time to pray to God while I'm out and about in public and with other people and then I'm gone all day and night until I get home and I'm so tired that i just barely read some of my bible, possibly write a little journal entry about my lastest thoughts or feelings, and then completely just pass out.

An update on my dad:

Things are going alright at the moment. I don't have much information to share, but he is going to see the doctor again on the 15th and I guess we'll find out more about stuff then. Thanks again so much to all those who are praying for my dad, my family, and me.

Well...That's all I can really think about blogging right now, tomorrow is my food competition with school, I made an eagle out of white chocolate, it's actually pretty cool, I'm pretty happy with it. So I hope everything goes good with that tomorrow.

"but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." (Isaiah 40:31)

Until next time, God Bless.

My Grey Cloud

"My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to your word." (Psalm 119:28)

Lately, I'm feeling very emotionally and physically exhausted. My dad has been weighing heavy on my mind, even though I know that God is with me and my family, but I just can't help but worry. Today he went to the doctors again for another test. They know for sure that the tumor on his kidney is cancerous and that it needs to be removed as soon as possible, but he needed to go for a test today to determine just how much has to be removed. The good news is, that it hasn't spread at all, so as soon as they can get in there and remove it, he should be on his way to recovery, and everything should be fine. Praise God!

But I'm also feeling quite stressed over some other things going on in my life as well. I have a competition for school this weekend, I'm making a chocolate sculpture, and last week when I was putting it away, it tipped a bit and I broke some of it, so this week I'm spending most of my time fixing it and trying to make it look decent again.

Also, I'm busy with regular school, making time for friends, and working, which is really crummy for me lately, because it isn't really that busy and I'm not getting a lot of shifts so I'm not making a lot of money and I'm kind of in debt pretty bad with my parents, so it just seems as thought things aren't going too great for me right now.

But none-the-less, I still praise God everyday for being with me and all the blessings and gifts He has provided me with. I know I must stay strong and keep going and smiling, because it will all get better soon and my worries and weariness will be no more. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers.

Until next time, God Bless.

Always With Me

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." (Joshua 1:9)

I just wanted to say a thank you to all my friends who are praying for me and my family, especially my dad. With your help and encouragement, it helps to keep me strong and helps to keep my eyes and heart on God during this tough time.

I believe my dad goes for more tests this Tuesday so we might get some more information on the tumor or the next step that has to be taken in order for things to get better, so I will post about it and keep those of you who are praying for me, updated.

I also have a friend that I would like to take a moment to mention, she isn't feeling too well in her faith right now, and she has quite a big decision to make regarding her relationship with God. She has some friends who are kind of pulling her away from God and her faith and I just hope that she does realize that God does want her to stay strong and keep looking to Him and not to give up, even though things are kind of hard for her right now. So my thoughts and prayers are with her.

I know that God is always there for me, through the sunshine and the storms, and I will not give up. I will keep going, keep praying, and continue to love and praise Him for all the blessings and gifts I have in my life. I ask Him to heal my dad and I ask Him to watch over my family and friends, and I know He will.

Until next time, God Bless.

In Need Of Prayer

If there was anything I ever needed in the past, it has never amounted to this...

I just found out this afternoon that my dad has a tumor on one of his kidneys. They have to run some more tests and stuff but they are pretty sure that they are going to have to remove the kidney. My family is really upset of course with worry and sadness, no one would feel alright with this kind of news. I guess there is a bright side to it, because it is completely possible to live with only one kidney, and they also did some bloodwork tests and they came back looking good, saying that it hadn't spread anywhere else.

My heart is really heavy right now and my dad, my family and I are in need of prayer. I know God's love and grace will help to keep me strong, and I will look to Him and send up my worries. I have hope and faith that everything will be ok, but please my loving friends, please keep my dad and my family in your thoughts and prayers, I need you all. Thank you.

"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble." (Psalm 46:1)

Until next time, God Bless.

Broken And Beautiful

Ok, so if you haven't heard Mark Schultz - Broken and Beautiful song, I think you should take a listen because it is awesome! The message is so powerful and the song/beat just makes me feel so uplifted. I love hearing it come on the radio as I'm driving in my car.

Broken And Beautiful - Mark Schultz

There’s a businessman, there’s a widowed wife
A smiling face with a shattered life
A teenage girl with a choice to make
It’s crowded here in church today

And the preacher says as the sermon ends
“Please close your eyes, bow your heads
Is there anyone in need of prayer,
Oh Jesus wants to meet you here”

Cause we all fall short,
and we all have sinned
But when you let,
God’s grace break in

(Chorus)
It’s Beautiful, Beautiful
Come as you are
Surrender your heart
Broken and beautiful

Well he’d never been to church before
But he came today as a last resort
His world was crashing in
And he was suffocating in his sin

But tears rolled down as hope rushed in
He closed his eyes, raised his hands
Worshipping the God who can
Bring him back to life again

(Chorus)
And it’s beautiful, beautiful
Come as you are
Surrender your heart
Broken and beautiful, beautiful
Come as you are Surrender your heart
Broken and beautiful

Cause there’s nothing more beautiful at all
Than when His sons and daughters call, broken

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Come as you are
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Come as you are

(Chorus)
Broken and beautiful, beautiful
Come as you are
Surrender your heart
Broken and beautiful, beautiful
Come as you are
Surrender your heart
Broken and beautiful
Come as you are
Broken and beautiful, beautiful
Come as you are
Surrender your heart
Broken and beautiful
Broken and beautiful
Broken and beautiful
Beautiful

I know I am broken, or have been before, but I know that even in my worst hour, if I look to God for help and strength, I am the most beautiful thing. God's love, is the most beautiful thing.

Until next time, God Bless.

Praise To The Lord Of Light

Wow, what a day! Don't you just love Sundays?? I do. But most of all, I love how this Sunday, I got to church and heard my youth pastor, Rob, say that his son, Jonah, who had been ill, is doing a lot better and he was in church today! I was so happy about seeing him in church, healthy and happy, that I almost started crying right then and there, I had to really hold my tears in.

I prayed so hard for that little boy, I know many people did, but it just felt so good to see that God was listening and that He does amazing things. I know sometimes it feels like, things are going all wrong and they are so crazy and I get so stressed out and upset and I think to myself, "what more could possibly go wrong?" But it's times like these, and God's never-ending love, that keep me so strong and so proud to have found Him. He deserves the most praise and the best love.

-Thank you Lord, for your mercy, your kindness and your love. Thank you for hearing so many of our prayers and showing us that You do amazing things and that we can always turn to You. You truly are the light of the world, and I know, that with You, I will never walk in darkness...even in the worst times. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.-

"I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." John 8:12

Until next time, God Bless.

Dedicated To My Friends

I found myself thinking about how thankful I am for the wonderful friends I have in my life, and how I wouldn't be who I am today without them. I've always believed that God brings people into my life for a reason. I believe that each person who enters my lives was put there to teach me something, whether it be about myself or something else. I also believe that if I loose a friend, or they leave my life somehow, that it was also meant to be. But as of right now, I am so blessed with the many wonderful friendship I have in my life.

I was looking through at different verses in The Bible to see if I could find any verses on friendship and fell upon these;

"I always thank God for you because of his grace given you in Christ Jesus." (1 Corinthians 1:4)

" I thank my God every time I remember you." (Philippians 1:3)

These verses might not necessairly be meant for what I found them for, but in my heart I can see them as working for how I feel about my friends. I thank God so much for my friends, they have blessed me and encourage me in so many ways and I just pray that God will always watch over them and bless them as well. I know He will, but it's important for me to share that anyway.

I also received a really lovely email today from a special friend of mine and they sent me some quotes in the email and it just totally made my day, so I feel it's important, since this blog is for my friends, to post those quotes here.

"A faithful friend is a sturdy shelter; he who finds one finds a treasure."

"Faithful friends are beyond price: No amount can balance their worth"

"Friends are friends forever, if the Lord is the Lord of them. And a friend will not say never, cause the welcome will not end. Though it's hard to let you go. In the Father's hands I know. That a lifetime's not too long to live as friends."

To all my friends who take the time to read my blogs and leave me comments, thank you. You're always in my thoughts and prayers.

Until next time, God Bless.

My Plate Is Full, And I'm Not Hungry

I think I'm crazy. Seriously. I don't have any reason to feel overwhelmed, or stressed, or tired, or anything. I just got back from a fantastic vacation for goodness sake! But, I do. I feel like my life is so packed up...and I have to juggle things like, school, my friends, my job, and my own personal time to be alone with myself and with God.

Everday this week I have something planned/scheduled. And it's funny because I know there has been times in my life when I had nothing to do ever and I was so bored and I'd get so frustrated because I just wanted to have something to do! And now I do and I just want to curl up into a ball on my bed and hide and wait for all of it to go away. But then again, at the same time I'm so pumped that I have the friends I have, and I want to see them/spend time with them always! I think I need help. Hah.

I feel so weak though, I think what I really need is just time to focus and reflect for myself. I think I should give up staying on the computer so late, I should try and motivate myself to do the things I know I have to do such as, I should get all my serious work done before I go out and play, and I should spend more time alone with God.

I'm in need of prayer my friends. I wish I didn't feel so much like I am complaining, but I'm so emotionally exhausted. But I know there are people out there that definitely have it SO much worse. Like, look at me. I'm complaining because I have "too much to do" Pfft! I feel so guilty for complaining about something like this.

Why am I so messed up? God, I really need you. Help.

Until next time, God Bless.

No Words Needed

My goodness, long time no post huh? Well considering I got used to posting atleast once a day the majority of the time. But I'm back from my vaction now and ready to jump right into it again. I missed blogging dearly, but I kept up my own personal daily bible readings and devotions in my journal while I was away, so that helped.

There is something on my mind and it's stirring and stirring, and I'm sure that it's the fact that sometimes I feel overwhelmed at all the thoughts, feelings, and prayers I want to share with God and talk to him about. Sometimes I almost feel bad, because I know I have lots of very important people in my life that I want to talk to God about and pray for them, but the list is so long sometimes that I just find it difficult to be able to.

I know God always knows my thoughts and what is in my heart, but it's important to me, that if there is a someone, like a friend, or just someone I know, that I want/feel the need to pray for, sometimes I find it hard to do so, because I usually do my good, long, end of the day prayer to God before I go to bed, because it's easy for me that way, because I'm alone, in silence, there are no distractions, and I can say what I need to say to God, and then go to sleep.

I guess, I just find it hard that at some random time during the day, if something comes up that I feel I need to pray for, it's hard for me to go find silence, bow my head, and pray to God. I know I should definitely find more times to pray to God during the day instead of trying to save up all the "really important" stuff for my bedtime prayer, so I ask for prayer for that now.

-Dear Heavenly Father, I pray that you just look into my heart and hear my thoughts and words. There are so many people that I want to pray for Lord, and so many issues or events that occur everyday that I need to pray for, but sometimes I don't know if just thinking about it or saying "I'll pray for you" is enough. But Lord, I want you to know my thoughts, feelings, and what is inside my heart, and even if I don't get around to "formally praying" for these things, that you know I am thinking about them and they are in my heart. Thank you, in Jesus' name I pray, Amen."-

I feel inspired to write a poem at the moment...but I'm just too tired to do it right now, I will get around to it soon enough and post it. Thanks for reading my blog, it's good to be back. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers my friends.

Until next time, God Bless.

Your Plan

I guess it's no surprise that of course I am super excited about the trip I am about to go on but I just wanted to post before I headed off because I probably wont be able to do so for a while.

God has given me such an amazing gift and has blessed me so much, I of course believe that everything happens for a reason and there is a reason I am going on this amazing trip of a lifetime. I am really truly excited to be able to go with my dear friend Kayla, and for us to be given the chance to spend this time together and I can be there for her if she needs me, and our friendship can grow a bit as well. Also, being able to spend this time with her will give me the chance to show her even more, the love and gifts of God and what He has done for me and how He has helped me to get through my break up with my boyfriend and how He has been such a strength and comfort.

My friend Kayla, isn't technically a Christian or anything, so I just hope that while we spend the next week having fun and being together, that I can show her just how amazing God is and hopefully, she'll see it and possibly decide that He is what she needs in her life, to fill that emptiness that her break up has left her with.

"O LORD, you are my God; I will exalt you and praise your name, for in perfect faithfulness you have done marvelous things, things planned long ago." (Isaiah 25:1)

Everything happens for a reason, God has made my path and has set it out for me and I plan on continuing to follow it and walk down it with Him. But this trip is just such an amazing gift and I just pray that God will be with me and Kayla and her parents while we are away and that great things will continue to happen. I also pray that God will keep my family and friends happy and safe and free of worry, espcially my mom.

For those of you who read my blog, thank you, and I promise to post all about my trip and my thoughts and feelings I had regarding my relationship with God while I was away. I'm bringing my Bible and Devo Journal with me of course so I'll make sure to write down anything I need to blog about. Thank you for your love, thoughts, and prayers.

Until next time, God Bless.

Feelings Of Joy

Happiness is such an amazing feeling, it's an emotion that I crave all the time and wish I were all the time...I've been told that sometimes that can be a downfall for me though, because it isn't really possibly to be happy all the time, eventually you have to face issues and things that will make you upset.

But I think, especially now, my walk with God is going quite well, so I'm feeling happiness more and more everyday, and I also find it so much easier to deal with things that would normally make me really upset. I know God is there for me always and I can always turn to Him, it's amazing.

I think sometimes, people might even question, how I can be so happy all the time, and I feel so proud to be able to say that I owe my happiness to God. I really hope for one day that I can change someone's life for the better, like my friend has done for me. I have a couple of friends right now, that don't go to church and I've been praying for them and I talk to them about God, and some of them seem to like hearing me say the things I do about Him, so maybe in time, they will decide to find Him.

I just wish all my friends could feel the feelings of joy that I have when I'm at church or youth, or even just having a simple spiritual conversation with a friend of mine. I have a friend that comes online every night and I just look forward to talking to him, because we always seem to have such a great conversation about God and our spiritual lives with Him. It's awesome.

One day in church, the pastor? I think it was the pastor...but anyways he said something about asking your friends "How is your walk with The Lord today?" I think that is such a great question to ask! I definitely would love someone to ask me...because then I could say, "My walk is going great! How is yours?"

Walking with God isn't always easy...but it's definitely worth it, because you find so much goodness that you just can't get anywhere else. I pray that all my friends find this happiness.

"He who pursues righteousness and love finds life, prosperity and honor." (Proverbs 21:21)

Amen!

Until next time, God Bless.

Constant Battle

In life, it's kind of ridicules how the battles between good and bad, right and wrong, etc. constantly roam through our lives. You'd think that if you are a good christian and you love God and everything, you'd think that there wouldn't be the good vs bad battles in your heart, because God would always win right? And obviously God stands for all things that are good, so you would never have to worry about your head and heart battling and the "Bad or Wrong" choice winning. But unfortunately, I think that, even for good Christians, the bad choice might win sometimes.

There will always be temptation, and things that feel good, but you know they aren't right and you might not exactly get the chance to ask for guidance on what your choice should be before you make it.

I guess I should stop talking about others being involved in these feelings, but I feel weird just pinning it on myself. But basically, I feel like I am faced with decisions and dilemmas all the time and there might even be things that I want to do or say but something inside tells me, that it isn't a good idea. Unfortunately...I haven't always listened to that voice.

So tonight, I just ask for forgiveness, and that God will help me and guide me. I want to make the right choices, the good choices, and I want to live my life doing the things that would make God happy. So please my friends, pray for me, and help me to do the right thing, and become the better person that I want to become. Thank you.

"The name of the LORD is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are safe." (Proverbs 18:10)"

-I want to run to you Lord, keep me safe from the wrong choices...lead me not into temptation, and give me strength. Amen.-

Until next time, God Bless.

Gratified Refuge

Lately, things seem to be going pretty good in my world...and by world I mean life. Haha. I haven't really got an update on how my dad is doing...like if his symptoms are still pretty bad or what not, but of course he is still in my prayers everyday and I just know that God will be my strength and that He does amazing things, and everything will be ok if I just continue to believe. Which of course reminds me...thank you to all my friends who have been praying for my dad, I truly appreciate it, and God bless you for your love and kindness to me.

I'll probably end up repeating myself forever through my life when I try to explain the wonders and power and amazing-ness of God's love and how I feel it so strongly now in my heart. I just feel like, there is almost nothing that could break me down...because I know, even when I get to my weakest, all I have to do is pray to Him, for He is my Father in Heaven, and I know He'll protect me, just like a daddy would protect his child.

"But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble." (Psalm 59:16 )

God is truly my refuge in times of trouble and I feel so blessed to have such a wonderful life and I'm just thankful for my family and friends and I'll keep praying for all of you...

Until next time, God Bless.

Tears and Joy

"Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy," (1 Peter 1:8)

I basically just stumbled upon this verse while I was looking through the bible and it totally like...continues on with what I was talking about yesterday about "Blind Faith". Argh!! I wish I stumbled upon it yesterday so I could put it into my other entry...But I guess it doesn't really matter, I could always continue on with it today.

It brings me such...peace. To think about...how strong my love has grown for the Lord, and how I have changed so much...and for the better. I really feel like I'm on the right path now, and everyday I become closer and closer to being a better person all around.

I'm also really praying for my friends around me who aren't necessairly Christians, or who don't have God in their lives...I pray for them so that maybe someday soon, they will find Him...God is always reaching out for us, all we have to do is accept Him and take His hand and He'll be there.

I feel so full...and so complete...I know this is happiness, this is love and truth and beauty. I just wish everyone could feel these amazing feelings I have inside when I think about God and how wonderful He is. Even as short as a couple of weeks ago...I felt weak and sad...and tears would form in my eyes...But God has made me stronger...and I know I have His love so just by knowing that I feel like...even if I'm sad or scared or cry...I know that soon enough I will be happy again, filled with joy and laughter and love, and I wish that on everyone.

"Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy." (Psalm 126:5)

Until next time, God Bless.

Blind Faith

Webster defines Blind Faith to be: "belief without true understanding, perception, or discrimination"

Ok...So...If you believe in God...blindly...it's because you believe in Him fully but without true understanding of who or what He really is and/or does? Hmm...so...do I have Blind Faith?

Honestly...my road of Christianity has been a hard one...all caused by myself of course...but it has been very "all over the place" and at times, somewhat very hard to follow...so much that, I got off that road for a long time. But still...even though I wasn't on God's path...I never forgot, denied, doubted, that there is infact a God that loves me very much...Unfortunately, I just refused to follow it.

But if it wasn't for me falling off that road...I doubt that I would have met the people who are in my life now, that got me back on that amazing road. At the beginning? I believe it was near the beginning anyway, I wrote a poem about how I was lost and not on my personal road to/with God, but a friend had helped me to get back on...I think now is a good time to share that poem...Some have already seen it and that's fine but...I feel like I need to post it here.

ANGEL

I was walking around in darkness,
Trying to find my way.
How come it didn’t occur to me,
That all I had to do was pray?

But then You brought me someone
An angel from the sky.
And I could tell he was from You,
With just the look in his eye

I could feel peace in his presence
I found comfort in his name,
So that night I searched for You,
And prayed thanks that he came.

I read your words of wisdom,
I’m sorry it took so long.
I prayed for forgiveness,
And also to be strong.

But to gain strength you have to fight,
And I felt too weak.
But Your angel was there to help me,
And brought me to my feet.

I’m still seeking all Your glory,
And pray for it everyday.
But I thank You for coming back for me,
I know now that I’ll be okay.

I owe my happiness to Your angel,
That You sent from the skies.
And if I need to find You,
I’ll just look into his eyes.

I do feel so blessed, that I have had the chance to do the things I've done and meet the people I've met, especially those I feel have helped me so much spiritually. It's really not an easy thing to be on a road that you feel you belong to so much...then find yourself fallen off of it...and then to get back on again. Wow...I just..it's hard for me to think and try to explain what I strong feeling I had when I knew that God was calling me back to Him...It was just something that I could feel in my heart...I knew I had to get back on that road, and I'm so glad I did.

-Dear Heavenly Father, thank You so much for all that You have done for me. I pray with my whole heart that You will bless my friends who have done so much and who've helped to bring me back to You, Lord. I can't imagine how I ever lived without You completely in my heart, and I hope I never have to feel that emptiness again. I have always believed in You, Father...and if that means that I have Blind Faith, than I thank You for that blessing. In Jesus' name, I pray...Amen.-

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers my friends. Until next time, God Bless.

Beauty From Within

I thought I'd take a rest from my posts that seem to upset me or depress me, so I'm going to talk about a topic that I have been thinking about, it's one of my favourite things actually...it's Beauty.

I like to think I can find beauty in many things...nature, people, paintings, words, lots of things...and one thing that is very important to me, is a person's inner beauty...it's an amazing thing how you can look at someone and not know them at all...and really not think anything of them...but once you get to know them...you realize just how beautiful they are.

God makes beautiful things...but sometimes you have to look deeper than just outside appearances. As cliche as it is...a caterpiller is definitely not the prettiest thing...but when it turns into a butterfly, now that's beauty.

"The king is enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord." (Psalm 45:11)

-sigh-....what beauty is found in a simple verse from the bible...I long to be out in nature right now, I love being outside...in a park, in the woods by the lake, on top of a hill over-looking the landscape and setting sun...

People...how beautiful they can be.

Thank you Lord, for everything you do and create is just so beautiful in its' own ways...and I pray that you open the hearts of those around me who maybe need to see what true beauty can be. And it's all from you Lord. Amen.

Until next time, God Bless.

Hope And Strength

I'm still praying very much for my dad, I will continue to do so until he gets better...I get so scared when I think about it, it really upsets me. Although I know that God is there for me and all I can do is pray and hope with all my heart that things get better...Please Lord, make me strong...

"but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." (Isaiah 40:31)

I was really down and bumbed at school this morning because all I could think about was my dad...before I left for school my mom told me that he was up all night with bad symptoms...it worries me so much...and I know I'm supposed to stay away from "worrying" but I can't help it...my family doesn't really go through much heartache, and this is really big to me...it helps though, that I can get my feelings out and I know I have friends that care about me and will be praying with me, I'm so thankful for that.

So, I just have to keep praying, keep up my hope and strength in God...I know He does good things, and I believe if I pray hard enough...hopefully my prayers will be answered...

Until next time, God Bless.

From Chad

"Such a large crowd of witnesses is all around us! So we must get rid of everything that slows us down, especially the sin that just won't let go. And we must be determined to run the race that is ahead of us. We must keep our eyes on Jesus, who leads us and makes our faith complete. He endured the shame of being nailed to a cross, because he knew that later on her would be glad he did. Now he is seated at the right side of God's throne! So keep your mind on Jesus, who put up with many insults from sinners. Then you won't get discouraged and give up." (Hebrews 12:1-3)

I was so confused when Chad posted this passage to me...and I had to read it like five times before I could make sense of it in my heart..."keep your mind on Jesus.." it says. Well of course! Would be my answer, why wouldn't I keep my mind on Jesus? But I guess we sometimes...forget, and our mind wanders and we don't think "What would Jesus do?" at first.

I don't know exactly why Chad felt he had to share this passage with me. I hope it was just a reminder...or encouragement. Because that's how I took it. I read it over and over and wrote a journal entry about it. And I'm really going to try....when anything is bothering me, or upsetting me, or anything like that. I am going to keep my mind on Jesus and I will pray, and I know he will help me through whatever obstacles are placed before me. I want to run my race! I want to walk down the righteous path that God has made for me, and I will.

Thank you Chad, for this.

Until next time, God Bless.

Praying For You

They say that The Lord places obsticles in our way for us to grow and strengthen ourselves and all we can really do is pray and ask for help. I have quite a few things on my mind and in my heart I'm going to pray for, and whomever reads this, if you would also help in prayer for me, I need it.

My dad is sick right now, there is something possibly wrong with one of his kidneys and he's been going for scans and going to see the doctors and stuff and at the beginning of March he is supposed to go see a cancer specialist because they have to rule out all possibilities, but of course this is very upsetting for my family and me and I just pray with all my heart that he gets well and God heals him.

Also a close friend of mine has recently broke up with her boyfriend of about 2.5 years and he was the one who left her so of course she is really upset and not doing to well so my thoughts and prayers are with her to gain strength and happiness again and to deal with her sadness in a healthy way.

There is always something to pray for, but these two things are very important for me right now, especially the one about my dad's health. So thank to anyone who reads this and your prayers, and some words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated.

Until next time, God Bless.

Burning Out The Fear

Today I just felt like God worked wonders in my heart and was with me all day and provided me with strength, happiness, love, kindness, all that wonderful stuff that I continually pray for on myself and others as well.

Tonight was Youth and it was AWESOME! Everything about it was just great, I'm so happy that I went. Sledding was so much fun, I wasn't really scared at all, which is a surprise to even me because usually I am definitely a big wuss hah! But I don't know...I seem to get like strength and courage at random times and it feels great. I did wipe out once though..Hah..not good...I did hurt pretty bad but I didn't want to show that so I sucked it up as fast/good as I could and kept going!

Once things settled a bit, everyone gathered for devotional time so a bit was read from the bible and then we discussed it/answered some questions revolving around it and had some prayer time. We also did this really neat thing where everyone got a stick and we stood around the fire pit and we had to name our stick after a fear we had in our hearts/lives....I was going to keep my story about my stick to myself, but I actually feel like it's an important thing for me to share inorder for whomever wants to read this, to get a little more of insider..."On My Thoughts"...ha..(my blog name)

So...there are quite a few fears/concerns I have in my heart, but I chose to name my stick after my fear of loosing good relationships with people I truly care about. My friends and family that are true and dear to my heart, definitely contribute to my strength, happiness, and all other positive important things in me, so the idea of possibly loosing what I share with any individual friend or loved one, definitely scares me.

So I threw my stick in the fire and allowed God to help me with that fear and "burn it away" I felt really good about it, I just wanted to sit there and pray and pray and pray...Those times defeinitely get to me and hit a soft spot in my heart...

- Thank you Lord, so much...thank you. I know that you are so amazing and I know that you see what is in my heart and I pray that you help me to burn out all the bad, all the negative, and all the things that will hold me back from becoming the better person that I want to be. And I pray that you were there and listened to everyone else's hearts and fears and burn their's away too, I know you were and will, but I pray for them as well. I love you, thank you, In Jesus' Name I Pray, Amen. -

Thanks for reading...Until next time, God Bless.

An Intimate Setting

Last night I wasn't feeling so good so I had a chat with a friend in hopes that it would make me feel better, and it did a bit. When our chat was over I had tears in my eyes and a very strong urge to be alone in prayer. I took up the idea I recieved from my friend Chad about reading my bible by candle light, so I found a small candle that was sitting in its' box still in my room, grabbed my bible and journal and headed upstairs to the most quiet room in the house (the living room which is inclosed with a set of french doors), I sat down on the floor, said a silent prayer to God, lit my candle, prayed a little more, and then flipped open my bible.

Usually when I open my bible I don't have a set place I go to and start reading, I just flip through it until something makes me start reading, and I usually find this quite interesting because most of the time I do stumble upon passages that really speak to me about how I'm feeling at the moment.

After I was finished reading my bible, I wrote a little journal entry/prayer/devotional entry into my journal and when I was finished, I felt a lot better inside, I felt like God had really been with me and my spirits were starting to lift. The candle was a really nice touch as well, it gave me a feeling of warmth as I read and wrote by it, I think I'll dedicate that candle that was sitting lonely on the shelf in my room to my special prayer times from now on. Thanks Chad, for the great idea!

I love the power of prayer, and I love the feeling of comfort that God gives me. And I pray in thanks for my friends who are always there for me when I need them, thank you so much.

Until next time, God Bless.

Love Is Patient And Kind

This post will probably be one of the bigger deals...I guess I would say, because I take my emotional feelings and love life quite seriously. So...forgive me if the post is a little vague.

Before my heart belonged to God, I never really thought about the whole "God chooses who you fall for, or the people you're meant to meet" But lately, I'm really starting to think about it a little more...Does God really influence us on whom we start having romantic feelings for? If I fall for someone, or someone falls for me...is there reason for it? And is there really "The One" for all of us? Wow, quite the list of questions, I know.

But what about us that fall for someone and they don't feel the same way in return? What's the reason behind that? Some of my own personal theories on the topic include...

-Maybe God wants to teach our hearts patience?...Maybe He is testing us, to see if we can really find out if that person whom for we have feelings, really means that much to us that we are willing to wait for them...Love is patient after all is it not?
-Sometimes the people who we fall for, teach us something about ourselves, I think you have to look deeply into the feelings and maybe ask yourself, why do I like this person? What does this person have/do for me, that makes me so 'attracted' to them?

Love is such a confusing topic for everyone, it causes a lot of heartache but it also causes a lot of happiness. I put my faith in God though, and I know He wants what's best for me, so I pray for myself and others, that we allow God to take our hearts and hands and lead us. Put your love in God, and you'll find love with others.

Until next time, God Bless.

He's Always There

Last night, something was really bothering me, and it wasn't good. I was kind of upset, I just wanted to go find a little hole somewhere and crawl into it and stay there. It was definitely not one of my better moods.

I found myself taking a bath and praying to God for him to help me with the issue that was on my mind and bothering me....I read my bible and wrote the longest journal entry about it so far. I even was looking around on the internet about stuff when I can across this passage...

"Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," (Jeremiah 29:12-14)

It really gave me hope to just stumble across this passage, it made me feel like...God wants me to talk to him and pray to him and go to him because I am feeling the way I am. So I did. I spent all the time before I fell asleep praying, and I fasted for most of today so that I could focus on my prayers and what was troubling me. Near the end of the afternoon, I was starting to feel much better about things, and all there was left to do, was to thank God.

I needed him, and he was there. He is always there.

Until next time....God Bless.

Extreme Love

Church today was AMAZING! The serman was so good, it really spoke to me and made me think about issues I'm having in my life and heart at the moment. It was so touching to hear someone talk about how amazing God's love really is. Sometimes, it doesn't click and you don't realize how much Jesus does for us, and how important we are to Him.

The part of the serman that really hit me the most was when Harry (the speaker for today) was talking about how when Jesus was hanging on the cross and there were all these people around him, booing him, throwing things at him, yelling at him...and all he said was,

"Father, forgive them."

I can't get over that. If it wer me and I was in that much pain and all that horrible stuff was happening to me, I couldn't imagine that the thought in my head would be to ask God for their forgiveness. Wow. I'm just blown away.

Your Love Is Amazing God. Thank you.

Until next time, God Bless.

Don't Worry

I used to think that I was a very mellow/laid back kind of person, but it seems lately that I do find myself worrying a lot more, and I don't like it! I mean, I've always worried about my friends and stuff, because I care about them and I don't want them to be hurt/upset/in pain or anything like that, so I thought that was kind of a normal thing to worry about.

I don't find myself worrying about the future really, especially now because I know that God has a plan for me and I know he wont let anything bad happen as long as I continue to follow His path and live by His word, and I very much plan to do so.

My friend, Jeremiah, tells me that I worry too much and that I really shouldn't and he shared with me a passage in the bible that might help me to understand and show me, that I really don't have to worry so much. I don't think he could remember exactly the chapter and verse number but he did know that it was in Matthew, so I went home and I read it and it did make me feel better, and I loved the fact that Jeremiah would help me with that. In my version of the bible, Matthew 6:34 reads:

"Don't worry about tomorrow. It will take care of itself. You have enough to worry about today."

So...that's my thoughts and feelings about that...everyone worries and thinks about things, but give your worries up to God and let him help you with them, everything will be alright.

Until next time, God Bless.

A lot Going on

Wow, sometimes I feel like there is a lot going on in my life and it's just happening so fast, that I can't keep up with it. My mind is almost always going crazy thinking about what's happening in my life and how I can make things better.

I recently (less than a month ago) broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years...and it's still getting thrown in my face now and then and it's hard because I want to stay strong and I understand my decisions and reasons for why I did it and I prayed so much that God would lead the way and guide me and show me that this is what I need to do for me, and I'm happy now. But it just gets annoying for me that, I want to move on and let go but the others who were hurt by my choice keep questioning me and I have no answers for them. I will pray for them though, and I will continue to pray for me, because I know that this was the right thing for me to do at this time in my life.

I know it's going to be hard...but I thank God everyday for helping me to make the decisions I need to make...I just want to be happy. And I am. So I'm sorry to everyone that I've hurt...and I'm sorry if it seems selfish of me to do what I did...but I wasn't going to stay in a relationship that I wasn't happy in anymore.

I don't want another boyfriend at the moment, I'm not ready for one, and I just want to be me for a while. God will know when my heart is ready for someone new, and he'll show him to me, and hopefully...it'll be right.

Thanks for allowing me to rant, until next time...God Bless.

About Me.

I know that there is an "About Me" section on my profile, but I thought for my first blog entry, I would go a little bit more in depth about myself, so that whomever decides to read my blogs can know a little bit more myself.

I would consider myself as a person to be pretty average. I believe that I'm of average size, smarts, looks, talents, etc. But I do believe that God blessed me with a very generous and kind heart. It thrills me to be able to help someone who is really in need of it. I love doing favors for my friends and helping out and normally I do it happily and with my whole heart. Unfortunately, I have found that sometimes I can get taken advantage of, or feel used, or even that the person I am helping doesn't appreciate it. But in most cases, I'm sure my real friends to appreciate what I do for them. I usually give whole-heartedly as well without expecting to get anything in return, and this is fine with me because I know that this is what God wants from me, from anyone.

I can be a little moody, I think, but who isn't? But I do pray for myself and that God watches over me and helps me to be the best person I can be. My favourite prayer at the moment is the "Serenity Prayer" and it basically goes like this:

'God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.'

I just love it so much because I do find myself praying for guidence and help from God, I want to be a better person always and I want to grow in my relationship with Him, and I know that by praying and being generous and kind, I will be happy with myself, and love myself, and forever be in peace.

Until next time, God Bless.