Beauty From Within

I thought I'd take a rest from my posts that seem to upset me or depress me, so I'm going to talk about a topic that I have been thinking about, it's one of my favourite things actually...it's Beauty.

I like to think I can find beauty in many things...nature, people, paintings, words, lots of things...and one thing that is very important to me, is a person's inner beauty...it's an amazing thing how you can look at someone and not know them at all...and really not think anything of them...but once you get to know them...you realize just how beautiful they are.

God makes beautiful things...but sometimes you have to look deeper than just outside appearances. As cliche as it is...a caterpiller is definitely not the prettiest thing...but when it turns into a butterfly, now that's beauty.

"The king is enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord." (Psalm 45:11)

-sigh-....what beauty is found in a simple verse from the bible...I long to be out in nature right now, I love being outside...in a park, in the woods by the lake, on top of a hill over-looking the landscape and setting sun...

People...how beautiful they can be.

Thank you Lord, for everything you do and create is just so beautiful in its' own ways...and I pray that you open the hearts of those around me who maybe need to see what true beauty can be. And it's all from you Lord. Amen.

Until next time, God Bless.

Hope And Strength

I'm still praying very much for my dad, I will continue to do so until he gets better...I get so scared when I think about it, it really upsets me. Although I know that God is there for me and all I can do is pray and hope with all my heart that things get better...Please Lord, make me strong...

"but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." (Isaiah 40:31)

I was really down and bumbed at school this morning because all I could think about was my dad...before I left for school my mom told me that he was up all night with bad symptoms...it worries me so much...and I know I'm supposed to stay away from "worrying" but I can't help it...my family doesn't really go through much heartache, and this is really big to me...it helps though, that I can get my feelings out and I know I have friends that care about me and will be praying with me, I'm so thankful for that.

So, I just have to keep praying, keep up my hope and strength in God...I know He does good things, and I believe if I pray hard enough...hopefully my prayers will be answered...

Until next time, God Bless.

From Chad

"Such a large crowd of witnesses is all around us! So we must get rid of everything that slows us down, especially the sin that just won't let go. And we must be determined to run the race that is ahead of us. We must keep our eyes on Jesus, who leads us and makes our faith complete. He endured the shame of being nailed to a cross, because he knew that later on her would be glad he did. Now he is seated at the right side of God's throne! So keep your mind on Jesus, who put up with many insults from sinners. Then you won't get discouraged and give up." (Hebrews 12:1-3)

I was so confused when Chad posted this passage to me...and I had to read it like five times before I could make sense of it in my heart..."keep your mind on Jesus.." it says. Well of course! Would be my answer, why wouldn't I keep my mind on Jesus? But I guess we sometimes...forget, and our mind wanders and we don't think "What would Jesus do?" at first.

I don't know exactly why Chad felt he had to share this passage with me. I hope it was just a reminder...or encouragement. Because that's how I took it. I read it over and over and wrote a journal entry about it. And I'm really going to try....when anything is bothering me, or upsetting me, or anything like that. I am going to keep my mind on Jesus and I will pray, and I know he will help me through whatever obstacles are placed before me. I want to run my race! I want to walk down the righteous path that God has made for me, and I will.

Thank you Chad, for this.

Until next time, God Bless.

Praying For You

They say that The Lord places obsticles in our way for us to grow and strengthen ourselves and all we can really do is pray and ask for help. I have quite a few things on my mind and in my heart I'm going to pray for, and whomever reads this, if you would also help in prayer for me, I need it.

My dad is sick right now, there is something possibly wrong with one of his kidneys and he's been going for scans and going to see the doctors and stuff and at the beginning of March he is supposed to go see a cancer specialist because they have to rule out all possibilities, but of course this is very upsetting for my family and me and I just pray with all my heart that he gets well and God heals him.

Also a close friend of mine has recently broke up with her boyfriend of about 2.5 years and he was the one who left her so of course she is really upset and not doing to well so my thoughts and prayers are with her to gain strength and happiness again and to deal with her sadness in a healthy way.

There is always something to pray for, but these two things are very important for me right now, especially the one about my dad's health. So thank to anyone who reads this and your prayers, and some words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated.

Until next time, God Bless.

Burning Out The Fear

Today I just felt like God worked wonders in my heart and was with me all day and provided me with strength, happiness, love, kindness, all that wonderful stuff that I continually pray for on myself and others as well.

Tonight was Youth and it was AWESOME! Everything about it was just great, I'm so happy that I went. Sledding was so much fun, I wasn't really scared at all, which is a surprise to even me because usually I am definitely a big wuss hah! But I don't know...I seem to get like strength and courage at random times and it feels great. I did wipe out once though..Hah..not good...I did hurt pretty bad but I didn't want to show that so I sucked it up as fast/good as I could and kept going!

Once things settled a bit, everyone gathered for devotional time so a bit was read from the bible and then we discussed it/answered some questions revolving around it and had some prayer time. We also did this really neat thing where everyone got a stick and we stood around the fire pit and we had to name our stick after a fear we had in our hearts/lives....I was going to keep my story about my stick to myself, but I actually feel like it's an important thing for me to share inorder for whomever wants to read this, to get a little more of insider..."On My Thoughts"...ha..(my blog name)

So...there are quite a few fears/concerns I have in my heart, but I chose to name my stick after my fear of loosing good relationships with people I truly care about. My friends and family that are true and dear to my heart, definitely contribute to my strength, happiness, and all other positive important things in me, so the idea of possibly loosing what I share with any individual friend or loved one, definitely scares me.

So I threw my stick in the fire and allowed God to help me with that fear and "burn it away" I felt really good about it, I just wanted to sit there and pray and pray and pray...Those times defeinitely get to me and hit a soft spot in my heart...

- Thank you Lord, so much...thank you. I know that you are so amazing and I know that you see what is in my heart and I pray that you help me to burn out all the bad, all the negative, and all the things that will hold me back from becoming the better person that I want to be. And I pray that you were there and listened to everyone else's hearts and fears and burn their's away too, I know you were and will, but I pray for them as well. I love you, thank you, In Jesus' Name I Pray, Amen. -

Thanks for reading...Until next time, God Bless.

An Intimate Setting

Last night I wasn't feeling so good so I had a chat with a friend in hopes that it would make me feel better, and it did a bit. When our chat was over I had tears in my eyes and a very strong urge to be alone in prayer. I took up the idea I recieved from my friend Chad about reading my bible by candle light, so I found a small candle that was sitting in its' box still in my room, grabbed my bible and journal and headed upstairs to the most quiet room in the house (the living room which is inclosed with a set of french doors), I sat down on the floor, said a silent prayer to God, lit my candle, prayed a little more, and then flipped open my bible.

Usually when I open my bible I don't have a set place I go to and start reading, I just flip through it until something makes me start reading, and I usually find this quite interesting because most of the time I do stumble upon passages that really speak to me about how I'm feeling at the moment.

After I was finished reading my bible, I wrote a little journal entry/prayer/devotional entry into my journal and when I was finished, I felt a lot better inside, I felt like God had really been with me and my spirits were starting to lift. The candle was a really nice touch as well, it gave me a feeling of warmth as I read and wrote by it, I think I'll dedicate that candle that was sitting lonely on the shelf in my room to my special prayer times from now on. Thanks Chad, for the great idea!

I love the power of prayer, and I love the feeling of comfort that God gives me. And I pray in thanks for my friends who are always there for me when I need them, thank you so much.

Until next time, God Bless.

Love Is Patient And Kind

This post will probably be one of the bigger deals...I guess I would say, because I take my emotional feelings and love life quite seriously. So...forgive me if the post is a little vague.

Before my heart belonged to God, I never really thought about the whole "God chooses who you fall for, or the people you're meant to meet" But lately, I'm really starting to think about it a little more...Does God really influence us on whom we start having romantic feelings for? If I fall for someone, or someone falls for me...is there reason for it? And is there really "The One" for all of us? Wow, quite the list of questions, I know.

But what about us that fall for someone and they don't feel the same way in return? What's the reason behind that? Some of my own personal theories on the topic include...

-Maybe God wants to teach our hearts patience?...Maybe He is testing us, to see if we can really find out if that person whom for we have feelings, really means that much to us that we are willing to wait for them...Love is patient after all is it not?
-Sometimes the people who we fall for, teach us something about ourselves, I think you have to look deeply into the feelings and maybe ask yourself, why do I like this person? What does this person have/do for me, that makes me so 'attracted' to them?

Love is such a confusing topic for everyone, it causes a lot of heartache but it also causes a lot of happiness. I put my faith in God though, and I know He wants what's best for me, so I pray for myself and others, that we allow God to take our hearts and hands and lead us. Put your love in God, and you'll find love with others.

Until next time, God Bless.

He's Always There

Last night, something was really bothering me, and it wasn't good. I was kind of upset, I just wanted to go find a little hole somewhere and crawl into it and stay there. It was definitely not one of my better moods.

I found myself taking a bath and praying to God for him to help me with the issue that was on my mind and bothering me....I read my bible and wrote the longest journal entry about it so far. I even was looking around on the internet about stuff when I can across this passage...

"Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," (Jeremiah 29:12-14)

It really gave me hope to just stumble across this passage, it made me feel like...God wants me to talk to him and pray to him and go to him because I am feeling the way I am. So I did. I spent all the time before I fell asleep praying, and I fasted for most of today so that I could focus on my prayers and what was troubling me. Near the end of the afternoon, I was starting to feel much better about things, and all there was left to do, was to thank God.

I needed him, and he was there. He is always there.

Until next time....God Bless.

Extreme Love

Church today was AMAZING! The serman was so good, it really spoke to me and made me think about issues I'm having in my life and heart at the moment. It was so touching to hear someone talk about how amazing God's love really is. Sometimes, it doesn't click and you don't realize how much Jesus does for us, and how important we are to Him.

The part of the serman that really hit me the most was when Harry (the speaker for today) was talking about how when Jesus was hanging on the cross and there were all these people around him, booing him, throwing things at him, yelling at him...and all he said was,

"Father, forgive them."

I can't get over that. If it wer me and I was in that much pain and all that horrible stuff was happening to me, I couldn't imagine that the thought in my head would be to ask God for their forgiveness. Wow. I'm just blown away.

Your Love Is Amazing God. Thank you.

Until next time, God Bless.

Don't Worry

I used to think that I was a very mellow/laid back kind of person, but it seems lately that I do find myself worrying a lot more, and I don't like it! I mean, I've always worried about my friends and stuff, because I care about them and I don't want them to be hurt/upset/in pain or anything like that, so I thought that was kind of a normal thing to worry about.

I don't find myself worrying about the future really, especially now because I know that God has a plan for me and I know he wont let anything bad happen as long as I continue to follow His path and live by His word, and I very much plan to do so.

My friend, Jeremiah, tells me that I worry too much and that I really shouldn't and he shared with me a passage in the bible that might help me to understand and show me, that I really don't have to worry so much. I don't think he could remember exactly the chapter and verse number but he did know that it was in Matthew, so I went home and I read it and it did make me feel better, and I loved the fact that Jeremiah would help me with that. In my version of the bible, Matthew 6:34 reads:

"Don't worry about tomorrow. It will take care of itself. You have enough to worry about today."

So...that's my thoughts and feelings about that...everyone worries and thinks about things, but give your worries up to God and let him help you with them, everything will be alright.

Until next time, God Bless.

A lot Going on

Wow, sometimes I feel like there is a lot going on in my life and it's just happening so fast, that I can't keep up with it. My mind is almost always going crazy thinking about what's happening in my life and how I can make things better.

I recently (less than a month ago) broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years...and it's still getting thrown in my face now and then and it's hard because I want to stay strong and I understand my decisions and reasons for why I did it and I prayed so much that God would lead the way and guide me and show me that this is what I need to do for me, and I'm happy now. But it just gets annoying for me that, I want to move on and let go but the others who were hurt by my choice keep questioning me and I have no answers for them. I will pray for them though, and I will continue to pray for me, because I know that this was the right thing for me to do at this time in my life.

I know it's going to be hard...but I thank God everyday for helping me to make the decisions I need to make...I just want to be happy. And I am. So I'm sorry to everyone that I've hurt...and I'm sorry if it seems selfish of me to do what I did...but I wasn't going to stay in a relationship that I wasn't happy in anymore.

I don't want another boyfriend at the moment, I'm not ready for one, and I just want to be me for a while. God will know when my heart is ready for someone new, and he'll show him to me, and hopefully...it'll be right.

Thanks for allowing me to rant, until next time...God Bless.

About Me.

I know that there is an "About Me" section on my profile, but I thought for my first blog entry, I would go a little bit more in depth about myself, so that whomever decides to read my blogs can know a little bit more myself.

I would consider myself as a person to be pretty average. I believe that I'm of average size, smarts, looks, talents, etc. But I do believe that God blessed me with a very generous and kind heart. It thrills me to be able to help someone who is really in need of it. I love doing favors for my friends and helping out and normally I do it happily and with my whole heart. Unfortunately, I have found that sometimes I can get taken advantage of, or feel used, or even that the person I am helping doesn't appreciate it. But in most cases, I'm sure my real friends to appreciate what I do for them. I usually give whole-heartedly as well without expecting to get anything in return, and this is fine with me because I know that this is what God wants from me, from anyone.

I can be a little moody, I think, but who isn't? But I do pray for myself and that God watches over me and helps me to be the best person I can be. My favourite prayer at the moment is the "Serenity Prayer" and it basically goes like this:

'God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.'

I just love it so much because I do find myself praying for guidence and help from God, I want to be a better person always and I want to grow in my relationship with Him, and I know that by praying and being generous and kind, I will be happy with myself, and love myself, and forever be in peace.

Until next time, God Bless.